Inner Game

In todays’ modern life it’s getting more and more difficult to meet that special person. Are you ready to find your soul mate? Are you ready to commit? How do come across to the opposite sex? Is your perception of you different to what others around you think?

Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques are the tools to provide you with all the answers you’re looking for.

My motivations behind wanting to know more about these topics are that I want to succeed in all areas in life and I’ve spent a lot of time watching people whom I consider to be more successful than me. Some of these people are only successful in some areas and not in others (in some areas I consider myself to be more successful than them).

So in which areas in life do I want to succeed?

The Game by Neil StraussI’m a man and therefore I want to be more appealing to the gentler sex. So how do I go about this? Well, I’ve been reading ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss which is a great start and very motivating. I’m also more conscious than I used to be about how I look and act when in the presence of women. It must be noted here that I’m very happily married so I’m not looking to get myself into trouble but I am fascinated by how knowing a few rules and ‘tricks’ and, if I’m being honest, I would like to get my ego boosted by having women showing an interest in me (it’s been a while!) – and what man wouldn’t!? It’s also important for a happy marriage that we still make an effort with our partners too – I know I don’t get a look-in at home if I don’t shave regularly! 😉

Over the past couple of days I’ve been looking on for Styles (Neil Strauss) and Mystery’s video clips. These are a great resource as you actually get to put faces to the famous names and you also get to learn more about the body language they use, which is difficult to get across from a book.

TheMysteryMethod on YouTube:

A lot of what they teach is self-confidence and making you aware of why most men behave the way they do. One example Mystery gives is that men feel scared of the approach because of the 10,000 years of emotional baggage that we carry. Back in the era when humans lived in small nomadic groups men had to fight for their social status. This could often mean a fight to the death.

So imagine, if you will, this early man who wants to get a little closer to one of the females in the group. What happens if she is the property of one of the alpha males? He’s going to get his arsed kicked that’s what. A similar thing will happen if he’s rejected by any of the other females in the group. If he does’nt actually get a kicking his position in the group is diminished and he’s probably not going to get a chance to reproduce.

So modern man is carrying this psycological baggage and shows this by hugging his pint in the corner and never approaching any of the available females. How many men come home after a night out utterly depressed that they haven’t pulled or at least flirted? I know because that used to be me – not that I consider myself a PUA but I now accept the responsibility that if I don’t pull/score then it’s my fault. I can live with that.

Some time ago I had the pleasure of accompanying a self-proclaimed Pick-Up Artist (PUA) on a night out. Needless to say it was an entertaining evening. Here’s my account of the evening:

Last week I went out for a few drinks with some friends from work and we were joined by a chap that is a PUA master (a bit like a Jedi master except objects don’t float about). I’d heard many stories about this guy and was obviously impressed by what I’d heard. He’s been studying NLP and PUA techniques for some time and spends a lot of time honing his skills. After meeting him I worked out that he’s got a lot of learnt skills but he’s also a natural. His body language, style, looks and personality are all fully in control. He’s fairly tall and goodlooking (why does it pain me to say that about another man?!).

Anyway, this chap, knew that I’ve started on this hypnotherapy course and was kind enough to let me try a few suggestibility tests on him – I actually had the whole (male) group of us doing some waking hypnosis tests which probably looked very interesting to the onlooking crowd – he thought these tests were pretty cool and said that he’d ‘open-up’ a group of girls that were sitting close to us so I could show them the same tests.

Needless to say this scared the crap out of me because I just don’t walk up and start talking to people in bars. After spending about 10 minutes convincing me this would be fun he went across to these ladies and said something like (I couldn’t hear axactly what he said because I had my head in my hands dying of embarrassment):

“Hi ladies, my friend over there is studying psychology and he’s got these really cool hypno things he’s showing us. Do you want to see them?”

He then waved me over. Surprisingly it all fell into place and I showed them the same Flirt Coach by Peta Heskellsuggestibility tests I’d done earlier. They were a group of three ladies; two sat down on a sofa and one standing just over my right shoulder. Now in order to do these tests I had to be facing one of these ladies but I made sure that I kept the other two in the conversation.

Once I’d done the tests and had a few minutes of banter I thanked them for their time and returned to my group. I felt GREAT! I felt like I’d lifted a barrier. This happened a few more times in the evening and I grew in confidence. These ‘tricks’ enabled me to enter their personal space without them feeling threatened. I’m not sure if I’ve got the courage yet to open up groups but I’m going to try and use my new PUA friend as a mentor and wingman so that I can gain some independence in future.

The important thing here is that it’s not going to help me chat-up (what a horrible phrase?!) women, because I’m too old for that kind of stuff, but it will be a great way to help me sell myself as a hypnotherapist. If you’ve got self-confidence/self-belief then everything else can fall into place – especially if you have a plan too.

Obviously I’m looking forward to honing my skills as a hypnotherapist and learning new ‘tricks’ for building rapport with clients. So as-well-as the course I’m looking for new books to read on the subject. I have just read Derren Brown’s ‘Tricks of the Mind’ which is great as it covers all the tools you need as a PUA for opening and making yourself seem interesting. It’s also got some great ideas on memory improvement that, although I’ve come across them before, seem to be written in a way that I’m really connecting with. I really recommend it to anyone has an interest in showmanship and psychology.

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