Nigel Pond | Hypnotherapy in Bracknell, Berkshire, UK.

What positive psychology can help you become

admin — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:25:41 +0000

All,

If you’ve not already found the wonderful website www.ted.com please take a look at one the the example videos you can find there:

As mentioned in the above video you can and should have a look at www.AuthenticHappiness.com

Are hurt feelings worse than physical pain?

admin — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:34:57 +0000

The old adage “sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you”, simply is not true, according to researchers.

Psychologists found memories of painful emotional experiences linger far longer than those involving physical pain.

They quizzed volunteers about painful events over the previous five years.

Writing in the journal Psychological Science, they said evolutionary brain changes which allow us to work better in groups or societies could be key.

The cerebral cortex may also have had an unintended effect of allowing humans to relive, re-experience and suffer from social pain
Zhansheng Chen
Purdue University

The volunteers, all students, were asked to write about painful experiences, both physical and emotional, then given a difficult mental test shortly afterwards.

The principle was that the more painful the recalled experience, the less well the person would perform in the tests.

Test scores were consistently higher in those recalling physical rather than “social” pain.

Psychological scoring tests revealed that memories of emotional pain were far more vivid.

Social evolution

Researcher Zhansheng Chen, from Purdue University in Indiana, said that it was much harder to “re-live” physical pain than to recall social pain.

He said the evolution of a part of the brain called the cerebral cortex, which processes complex thinking, perception and language, might be responsible.

He said: “It certainly improved the ability of human beings to create and adapt, to function in and with groups, communities and cultures, and to respond to pain associated with social interactions.

“However, the cerebral cortex may also have had an unintended effect of allowing humans to relive, re-experience and suffer from social pain.”

The researchers now plan to repeat the experiment in older people, who are more likely to have experienced chronic pain.

Michael Hughesman, a child psychologist based in Germany, agreed that it was likely that emotional pain was handled in a different part of the brain from physical pain, and likely to be longer-lasting.

He said: “There is something very intangible about emotional damage - with physical pain, you can see the bruise, but in emotional abuse there is often fear and anxiety which remains.

“If someone tells you in the playground that they are going to get you after school, then you tend to be anxious and afraid about it far more than if someone just punches you there and then.”

As a therapist and a human being I have first-hand experience of both physical and emotional pain - as we all have. Both can be completely debilitating but once the physical pain has subsided there is a feeling of elation and relief.

How many people can say they have had the same relief from emotional pain? Losing your child in a supermarket brings about an emotional pain that relief can be given but how about emotional pain from incidents that occurred previously?

Through this-life regression therapy I have experienced emotionally charged memories can be re-programmed and relief can be gained. You may not think about this emotional incident all the time but what if you’re walking across a busy road when the memory suddenly enters your consciousness? Your attention may be temporarily diverted and you could be run over by a bus!

Many people (typically men - myself included) don’t believe that their emotional baggage shapes who they are but learning to face these incidents and dealing with them can give you so much strength. It’s only when you’ve dealt with such past incidents that you realise how much they affect you.

News article originally from the BBC here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7587780.stm

Multiple Sclerosis; how much do you know?

admin — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:16:15 +0000

Many years ago I was struck down by a mystery illness called Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS). I spent 8 months in hospital recovering including 8 weeks in Intensive Care on a ventilator. During my recovery in the rehabilitation ward I noticed a lady suffering similar symptoms so I asked her whether she had GBS too. Unfortunately she didn’t have GBS; she was suffering from Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

I learnt that this lady would go through this very ignoble and painful recovery process once every five years or so, which is very different from the ‘once in a lifetime’ event of getting GBS. I’ve read on the BBC News site this morning that MS is very underfunded in the UK so I thought I’d try and raise awareness.

You can find out more about MS and test your knowledge here:

Multiple Sclerosis Knowledge Test

And if you feel so inclined you can donate to UK MS Research you can do so here:

www.ms-research.org.uk

“You have two choices” an Existentialist story

admin — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:38:55 +0000

I normally hate touchy-feely sentimental chain mails but this one reflects the Viktor E. Frankl existentialist approach to life that I like.

“You have two choices…”

When people ask me about choices and decision making, this is always the story I tell. They love it!

Read it, see what you think and make your own choice!

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply,

“If I were any better, I would be twins!”

Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant… Why?

Because Jerry was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling them how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him:

“I don’t get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.

I always choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life.

I always choose the positive side of life.”

“But it’s not always that easy”, I protested.

“Yes it is”, Jerry said.

“Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the

junk every situation is a choice.

You choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people will affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.

It’s your choice how you live your life.”

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business.

He left the back door of his restaurant open, and then…

…In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.

While Jerry was trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him! Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullet still in his body.

I saw Jerry about 6 months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Want to see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door” Jerry replied.

“Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live”

“Weren’t you scared?” I asked

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man!’ I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked

“Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me – she asked if I was allergic to anything, the doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!!’ Over their laughter I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.

The only thing that is truly yours – that no one can control or take from you – is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Classic Mind Control

admin — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 12:49:20 +0000

I offer the following information, as some of you have expressed an interest in the subject.

Whilst travelling the subject of the relationship between NLP and mind control came up. Since I had just completed my article on Covert Hypnosis it was a logical question. I stress, NLP consists of practical mental techniques to influence people. NLP and hypnosis have an undeserved reputation of manipulation - like mind control. This is based on people over-promising and under-delivering on the magic of NLP as an influence technology. My mentor likes to say, “NLP elicits desired responses in other people,” because he feels the term “manipulative/mind control” has a negative flavour to it. I agree with this, as long as the person has no deep desire to disagree with you. In this light, I decided that I would go over the basics of classic mind control techniques in a seminar. This is based on my research of declassified CIA material and other literature on the subjects of mind control, brain washing, cult training, and psychology. I thought I would share it with you, since you may recognize some similarities with any type of intense training you may have attended. This month I will go over how to break down psychological defenses and start classic mind control techniques.

Here are the basic steps of classic mind control:

Isolation: You have to remove the person from his or her support group. This ith the first critical part of building the dependence necessary for breaking down psychological defenses. This is removal from family, firends, and normal support systems. The military does this in basic training. It can also be done at a resort or facility. The key is - no normal contact with support systems.
Control of Communications: The next thing must be control of all communications; this is a continuation of the isolation process. All communications with others will be controlled and handled by the handlers. This can be as obvious as what happens in millitary basic training, or as subtle as having breaks spread out and shortened so it is hard to make contact and communicate with anyone outside of the group. This also starts to build dependence upon the handlers. You must go through them for any communications - outside the group or inside. You see this in groups that do not allow open communications within the group and restrain communications with those outside the group. This is greatly amplified in our constant communication age. We are so used to always being in contact. Loss of this, even for a while leads to distress. Informers are set up at this stage; the insider is the one who reports back to the trainers or handlers.
Fatigue: Physical fatigue adds to the effect of breaking down a person’s psychological strengths and defenses. You can do this through physical exercise and training (military) or just by starting early and going late in a high energy, fast pace setting (look at the indoctrination of any cult - i.e. David Koresh at Waco). As you get tired, you are easier to handle and “go along” with ideas much more smoothly.
Control of Food, Water and Rest: The targeted individuals are made aware of the independence of the handlers (or trainers) for the timing of food and water breaks. Bathroom breaks can also be added to this to amplify the effect of loss of control. Timing of rest is also up to the trainers or handlers. This also leads to blood supar levels being off and it the mercy of the handlers. (in the old CIA and KGB material, tobacco was also used as means of control. For those of us who are old enough to remomber when a majority of adults smoked, the withdrawal adds to intense feelings.) It can be as simple as in a ristrictive setting like the military or jails, or subtle like an intense seminar (fire walking).
Using the person’s own criticism against himself: Once the person is tired and possibly hungry, he begins to doubt his own judgement, thinking maybe they (the trainers) are right, or I am wrong, or both. This is amplified if the trainers have a biography on yo uso they know something about you. This is where they begin to used it. You may remember films where they use “inside information” to help turn the person. This is the reason they try to learn as much about their target as they can - so they can use it. You may also be aware of seminars that obtain information on your goals, hopes, and dreams and use that information to manipulate you later.
Bypass the resistance of the conscious mind: This can be done by hypnosis - both overtly, as in a guided meditation or hypnotic induction, or covertly, with the use of metaphor and stories. Other hypnotic processes may come into play. The main one is getting a highly charged emotional response (fire walk, board breark, breaking an addiction) and linking that to a desired response. A psychological breakthrough, real or imagined, can also be used. These emotional reactions are powerful tools. If they are used at night when you’re tired (and hungry), the effect is amplified. (This is where drugs would come into play in the old CIA literature.)
Friendliness and helpfulness of the trainers or handlers upset a person’s ability to maintain a critical attitude: This is especially true if you voluntarily have entered the process, because you are now vested in the situation. You will defend the ideas or concepts presented for the above reasons, and now your critical factores help justify the change and give credit to the trainers or handlers (or their ideas) for what went on in the process. Although you did the work, you think, “Everything I am I owe to …” This is very powerful for the emotional breakthroughss and reactions achieved in the process.
Surprise - the use of unexpected events or things: A day off, a special presentation, something that throws off the sense of ritual.

The above factors lead to the following states being created in your target. They may vary in order, but will happen if given time.

A feeling of helplessness (in classic situations) or a sense of needing something from the trainer or handler (in social settings). This could be intensified by having the person think of the problems she would like to overcome, which she has not been able to overcome on her own (helplessness).
Initial reaction to surprise. This could be at the material, the trainer, or the crowd. The reaction throws of the internal equilibrium.
A feeling of uncertainty (of what’s expected of them in classical mind control) or uncertainty that they can do what they see the trainer do.

The uncertainty leads to:

Dependence on hanlders or trainers.
Loss of objectivity and a sense of doubt.
Feeling of guilt for letting others down or not doing well.
A questioning attitude of one’s own value systems or ideas.
A feeling of breakdown or breakthrough.
A sense of belonging to the new group and needded handlers’ or trainers’ approval.
A need to defend new ideas.

Once you achieve the last two, they become self-reinforcing, so you defend the new ideas to stay in the group - you fear losing the approval of the new group, trainers or handlers.